FEAR AND TREMBLING

      Fear and trembling seems to have gotten a hold on me the last few days.  Last night my blood pressure was a little high, along with a clenched jaw and super tense muscles.  (if I can still call the saggy mess on my bones muscles.)    Why did I find myself in such a state?  Simply because I spent hours on U-Tube watching doomsday videos.  I don't watch the television at all---why would I?---the internet is enough to throw me into major depression. 

      The prepping vids are especially interesting to me.  I am a prepper at heart. Oh, if only!  A bunker in the wilderness loaded with food and supplies sounds great to me.  To actually survive what's no doubt coming, though, I know it will only be by the hand of God.  For me, its kinda like when I was a kid with a Sears Robuck catalog, wishing for just about everything.  Nowadays I wish for all the things necessary to thrive in a world  knocked back into the dark ages, with wars, famine, and danger everywhere.  Where so many of the ones preparing, though, are hoping to rebuild and make it a better world after the dust settles, I have a different viewpoint based on the Word of God.  

     I believe we are almost in or already in the tribulation period which will end when Jesus comes again.  He will judge this wicked world and set up His thousand year kingdom on the earth. Yes, the fear of nuclear war is overwhelming!  There are millions who will die not knowing Jesus.  That is painful to think about.  Oh, so very painful!

     It grieves me that people I know and love ignore God and by default, choose the evil.   Whose end is hell!  I yearn for them to look up to redemption in Jesus Christ.  To forsake the world and the wickedness, hatred, and destruction and to embrace the pure goodness and love of God.  

     Yes, I am old and live in a nursing home,  There is absolutely nothing I can do to physically prepare for the horrendous days ahead.  Thank God, He has simplified it for this old gal.  He expects me to depend upon Him alone!  I think he expects the same thing of all His people, whether they have actually put aside any beans and rice, bullets or survival gadgets and gear or not.  Its wonderful to be prepared to feed and defend yourself and your family. Ultimately we must look to God for survival in this world and entering into the next one. This world in its present state is living on borrowed time, hanging by a thread, and crying out for redemption.   Father God directed Noah to build and stock the arc but before Noah even began such an overwhelming project, he had to trust God.  He had to keep trusting all those years before the flood came. He had to trust God while enduring the mockery and hatred of the wicked society around him. I know he may have had doubts, fears, and frustrations, but when the rain began to hit the roof, don't you know he was relieved he believed!

     So here I sit with my memories and regrets.  I let myself get the mully grubs at times I am sorry to say.  God, help me to believe in Your Word....in Your Presence always with me.  I have no illusions of surviving the horrendous days ahead but I know I will go to be with Jesus.  Not because of anything good I have done to deserve heaven but because I belong to Him.  I am bought with the blood, washed by the blood, and kept by the blood of the lamb. If you don't understand about the blood of Jesus, ask God to explain it in a way you will know!  I pray for the souls of the lost that they might become children of God, washed in the blood and walk in the Holy Light of God's Love forever and ever. amen

     I pray for you!  That you will know Him!  Jesus loves you.  He died on the cross for every precious life on the planet, you included.

Looking Back

     A year has quickly sped by since I came to this place,  The lock down began simutaneously with my arrival.  My daughter-in-law brought me from  the hospital for the rehab section of Cornerstone.  We were shocked that she couldn't even enter the building to help me settle in.  Things were just beginning.  Of course, I had heard about the Corona Virus even while in the hospital. I had nightmares of the Chinese people in body bags being stuffed in the incinerators.  Then the nightmare became real for the rest of the world.  For me, though, I have been relatively sheltered compared with most everyone else.  Social distancing, masks, hand sanitizers, testing,  hand washing, and the fear that hung over one and all.   The only one who died  here that I know of, was Rose.  She was 94, very sick and weary.  She was my son's mother-in-law.  I had hoped I could make friends with her here but the restrictions prevented that.  I wish I had known her better. My son and daughter-in-law did some window visits....Rose was two windows down from me.  When Dave and Mary came to visit, they alternated between Rose's window and mine.  Rose was one of us who tested positive, had to be hospitalized and surcomed to the virus.  So sad to die alone...no visitors allowed at that time in the plandemic. Lonliness had to be one of the most devestaing results of the whole thing, especially for the elderly. I say especially but not necessarily so.  Lonliness is a terrible thing for anyone and everyone.

     A couple of days ago Dave visited on his way home from work. It was the first time he could actually come to my room. How about that? Things are definently improving.  I pray this virus madness will all go away soon!  A pity that hatred and ignorance has multiplied in the last year or so.  It is incomprehensible how insane the world has become.  I know it is the last days and things are only going to get worse!  It is a spiritual battle we are in.  Perhaps it is the ultimate spiritual battle to end them all, There is no denying it is growing darker and intensely evil on this planet.  I am praying that God's folks will keep looking up, that we  keep our eyes upon Jesus.  We will overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony.  I am so glad to be a blood bought child of the living God.  Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, the life!

     I chose not to get the jab.  I don't believe it is the mark of the beast that the bible warns us against but I believe it is preparing us for accepting the mark.  Of course, it is dangerous in and of itself.  I don't pretend to grasp the science of  the experimental jab they call a vaccine, but I don't believe they are safe.  I believe it is a part of the depopulation plan the elite have stirred up in their cauldron. Like the serpent in the garden, they begile us to partake, promising  abundant health when actually they are peddling death.  They used the virus to change the world for the worse and now the vaccine will eliminate a few billion mouths to feed, while they are planning slavery for the starving few who survive.   

     Now I've done it.....exposed myself as one of the nut cases they want to laugh out of existence.Call me what ever goofy name you like, it is enough I believe in Jesus Christ as the only way, the Holy Bible as the word of God, and that there is a sharp dividing line between Holiness and evil.   I am so honored to be God's child. It really doesn't get any better than  that.  Oh, to know Him and love Him, knowing He loves me! I pray for all to know Him and to be saved. All--every last one!

Oofda Y'all

      Since I'm now a resident of north Minnesota, I have fallen in love with at least one word of the local lingo.   Oofda!  An expression of dismay of Scandanavian origin, I hear it a lot here.  Ex: " Oofda, I swallowed my bottom dentures while eating a cookie!" Not really!  Did y'all know a sense of humor is essential to living in a nursing home?  Survival depends upon it!   Laugh til it hurts.  Heck, I can't shop til I drop, dance all night, hike, bike, or even indulge in anything to oblivian anymore.....except sleep.  I manage to sleep quite a bit.  I think its the cat in me.  The difference between a cat nap and mine is the cat stays in tip top physical condition, while I snap, crackle and pop upon movement of any kind.   

     Whats to laugh about in a nursing home, you ask?  Hearing some expressions of neediness from the lady down the hall is always good for a chuckle.  She almost sings, "Ooooookay, oooookay, okay.  Come on, come on, come on.  🎵"  She tickles me with the tone of her laments.  I hope I  don't sound heartless because I smile about it. She is a dear 102 years old lady.  I think when you pass 100, you ought to get a free pass to be a little loud.  Meanwhile, there are others who are very annoying, to be honest.  There but for the grace of God, go I.  

     Sometimes I force myself to laugh at annoyances knowing that it could be a worse scenario . like when my roommate sits and stares at me, when she gets tangled up in my oxegen tubing, or rams my oxegen tank with her wheelchair.   I can laugh and be happy I don't have a worse roommate!  I reckon I'm not a such a perfect roommate myself.  I catch myself grunting when I'm out of breath.  Annoying, I'm sure...also I make way too many trips to the bathroom night and day.  My kids used to call me "Mrs Peebody"   Oh well, I can laugh at myself, too. 

     Honestly, I am thankful for being here.  Its a grand provsion from Father God.  When I first learned the name of this place was Cornerstone, the first thing that came to mind was Jesus is the cornerstone!  He is my all in all.  My redeemer, my friend, my savior, my blessed hope and I love Him more and more as time goes by.   Amen

CATCHING UP......KINDA

       So much water under the bridge since I wrote in this blog last. I have landed at last after a bit of wandering. My husband sadly passed away four years ago when we were living in Texas. After Mickey died, I left Texas for Vancouver, WA to live with my daughter and grandson. A few months later I flew to Alabama to stay with one of my cousins. After awhile, circumstances dictated another move, I ended up here in Bagley, MN after a few months staying with my son and family in Bemidji, MN.   Now residing in Cornerstone Nursing Home, I do believe this is my last earthly abode. Next destination is in heaven with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

    All that said, I'm hoping to fill in the blanks with future entries of this blog.  I'm trusting God to lead me in my writing...He has been prompting me to write for a long time now.  Since He wants me to write, He will surely guide me.

     Looking back at the last few entries I made, I realize how my focus hasn't changed that much. I am still yearning for the holiness of God. I'm still looking up!  Especially through this last year of Covid madness and all the upset in the world, I have not lost my desire for deliverance from the evil of this life.  

     A year ago this time, I was in the hospital, admitted with respiratory failure. (I have COPD.) While there, I had a slight heart attack, a UTI, seriously low hemoglobin caused by a couple of bleeding ulcers.  Talk about falling apart!  This old body is a mess. I ended up in the rehab wing of this place.  My son helped me to become a permanent resident.  It was my decision. He and his wife would have welcomed me back into their home and actually wanted me to come back.  But--I do not want to burden them.  If that sounds a bit self sanctimonious, its true nevertheless.  They have health issues, foster children, a big old house to maintain. A split level with stairs!  The stairs were the deciding factor for me. I simply can't handle stairs anymore!  I miss my cozy room, the family and the pets (most of the pets).   God has been so good to me and I honestly like this place I call home now.  I'll be writing about life in a nursing home in this blog. 

     That's enough for now.  Thanks be to God for all things!

     

     

Know This

Know this:

Grieved I am

for you who

mock and twist

God's Holy Word....

for you who

Shake your fist

in Holy God's face

Despising

His love and grace!

Why do youu

choose to dwell

on the brink

of hell?

Father God

bids you come

to the light

of His Son

JESUS

the eternal one

The way

the truth

the life

C.S. July, 2019

Holy, Holy, Holy!

          Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God, Almighty!  He is holy, pure, righteous, light, clean, and wonderful beyond the puny imagination of human thought.

          We live in a sin cursed world where everything is tainted with evil wrought by the devil. He has, in times past, insidiously crept into our culture---but now in this present time, he is open and in-your-face slinging the mud of filth in every direction.  He is rubbing it in!  He has allowed it to be seen as it really is---rot and decay lightly coated with sugar to tempt the unwary and uncaring.  He says, “Smell it, have you ever in your life smelled anything so awful?”  All the while, he is laughing because the world is reeking with evil that has become the new norm.  Instead of turning away in disgust, its considered good to be as bad as you can be.  Our awareness of sin has become either denial or celebration.  There are many who love the evil who are in chains and know it not.  They think they are fine and having fun, but underneath in their deepest heart, they are full of pain and misery!  Misery is the end result of denying God.  Every wicked and vile thing is born out of the womb of the Babylon world system.  It is everywhere!  We are awash in gross darkness.

          Our Father God said, “Come ye out from among them, my people.  Be ye holy as I am holy—put on the robes of righteousness—be cleansed by the blood of the lamb.  Deny yourself and follow me.”

          How can there be a discussion about whether a Christian can be gay?  Or living in adultery?  Any and all sin?  No!!!!! God is holy!  That means no entertaining evil or wallowing in the filth.  Why do we want to justify that which is disgusting to Father God?  Wake up, people!  God requires holiness and nothing else!  Because he is holy, he will have a bride without spot or wrinkle.  We must be in the world but not of it! 

          Oh, Father, wake up the people in these last days; cause us to repent with tears and cries of remorse. Let every idol be smashed and broken.  Cleanse us, father, and make us holy as you are holy.  Set the lawful captives free and loose the prey from the terrible one.  Contend with him who contends with your remnant people, break the chains that bind us, open the blind eyes of our spirits, heal the rents and tears inflicted by the enemy of our souls.   In you, lord we live and move and have our being.    Raise up workers for your harvest, lord.  Use all persecution and terror to purify your church.  Let not your people despair but put your mighty anointing upon them, equip them with your armor, and give them your peace that passeth understanding even in the midst of the terrible battles.     amen

         

     Gross Darkness

Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee.  For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people; but the Lord shall arise upon thee, and His glory shall be seen upon thee.

Isaiah 60:1-2

Though to Israel is

this promise written,
In my heart,
I hear it
also given
to us who
are grafted in,
saved from all sin,
Blood bought and
washed white.
Though the darkness
be terrible
We need not
be fearful
Gross darkness aside,
I am part of
His bride
Holy and pure
Set to endure
Whatever may
come
I am clothed
with The Son,
Come,
 shine with me
kneeling at
Calvary's tree.